


Sadness is Just a Word

by kimkibum



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, POV Third Person, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimkibum/pseuds/kimkibum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Late night skype calls can't fix everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sadness is Just a Word

Everything seemed pointless.  
That is, until Dan Howell met Phil Lester.  
Dan found out about Phil one day when he was scrolling through Youtube videos to watch. The moment he stared into those eyes, he was hooked.  
Dan always refreshed Phil’s Youtube page, hoping to see a video. He followed his twitter and tried so hard to be the first reply so Phil could notice him. And he did.  
Dan and Phil seemed to be inseparable when they first talked to each other. They texted for hours about things that seemed dumb to other people but meant the world to them.  
One day, Phil asked for Dan’s skype, Dan had no idea what to do. What happened if Phil saw Dan and was disgusted by what he saw? A bunch of thoughts flooded his mind, but even then, he decided to give his Skype username to the older boy.  
The moment he did it, he felt no regrets.  
In their first ever skype call, Dan didn’t know how beautiful Phil was. His eyes were like the sea, and he loved it, he loved Phil.  
Whenever they skyped, Dan’s eyes lit up like fireworks. He’s seen Phil so many times from a screen, but he was still mesmerized by the boy. He didn’t know why, he was just another person as Phil told him when he first dm’ed Dan.  
Phil always helped Dan with his problems, he felt happy doing it, especially for him. There was something about Dan that Phil couldn’t pin point, like the way he smiles made Phil’s heart rate pick up. He felt like nothing in the world could compare to Dan, he was one of a kind.  
Every day, Dan and Phil skyped. After a long time, Dan felt happy. He realized the only one who brought him happiness was Phil. All the times they talked, Dan ranted. He ranted about everything bad that happened in his life, but Phil fixed his mindset, allowing him to see the world in a new perspective.

“Dan, I’m going to tell you something, Sadness, it’s just a word. It doesn’t need to be felt. All it does is bring horrible things and you don’t deserve that. You deserve all the happiness in the world.” Phil told the younger boy.  
“Isn’t happiness just a word also?” Dan questioned his statement.  
“It is if you want it to be, but which one would you rather have, sadness or happiness?”

“Hapiness.”

A few days after that skype call, Dan was worried. Phil hasn’t picked up any of Dan’s skype calls or texts. He usually was all for late night skype calls, like the ones Dan wanted.  
Dan received a letter a few hours later. It was from Phil.

“Dear Dan,  
I don’t really know how to address this to you, considering this will be a bit ironic.  
I can’t take it anymore.  
All the YouTube hate and more. I constantly have to deal with hurtful things thrown to me and I feel worthless. This is a sadness nobody can fix, not even you. I feel so terrible, knowing everyone I’m leaving, especially you. You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had, so this is going to be hard on me.  
I love you.  
I’ve loved you ever since we first skyped, the minute I saw you smile, you made my world stop. All I could think about was you.  
I really hope you don’t hate me for this, but I feel like it’s my time.  
I love you,  
Phil

(P.S, I here’s my Youtube password, I have some videos you have to see and I hope you can finally start your own Youtube channel because you are the most creative person I’ve ever met you and you deserve the best!)

 

A few years later, Dan has made a Youtube channel and it skyrocketed. danisnotonfire was a name known in the Youtube community.  
Most people knew what happened to Phil, considering Dan posted a video on Phil’s Youtube channel speaking about the death. What they didn’t know is how it affected Dan.  
To this day, he still thinks Phil will be online on skype, and he’ll see the older boy with the deep blue eyes smiling.  
Dan was delusional. He posted a video called philisnotonfire for his channel, thinking Phil was there with him, and they made a video. Dan was the happiest in that video so the fans decided to let him keep on doing what he was doing, not knowing it was causing more harm than good, they even changed their fandom name to the phandom.  
A few months, a fan told Dan on twitter, the fan couldn’t stand seeing Dan like that, being completely oblivious to Phil’s death.  
When Dan saw the tweet, he turned to Phil.  
“Isn’t this crazy? A fan thinks you died. Obviously they’re going crazy.”  
Once Dan said those words, he saw Phil’s smile falter, and he started to fade away. Dan realized what happened, Phil was really dead.  
He had a tantrum, breaking everything in sight.  
In the midst of trashing his room, he found a letter. He read it, It was Phil’s suicide letter.  
That night, Dan did nothing but cry. Cry about how stupid he was thinking Phil was still alive.  
He could have helped Phil he thought. He could have been less selfish and talk about Phil’s problems instead of his.  
Dan did the only thing he was good at, cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all! This is my first fanfiction on here and I know that it's short but thanks for reading anyways! If you guys want to check out more work go to my wattpad! Link will be in my profile!
> 
> Comments will be appreaciated! Leave thoughts on what I should work on (and that doesn't mean "oMg ur sTori sUckS! 11r$!#324!")!
> 
> (NOT EDITED)


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